Past And Future

Thirteen years is a long time to spend trying to come to terms with something. You indulge it. You deny it. You reject it. You accept it. You embrace it. You fool it. You will it away. But it lingers. Sometimes it's just a word, or a name or a phrase or a mannerism. Sometimes it's the emptiness, the lack of, the hollow feeling from having had something and then losing it. Or from knowing what could have been but now it never will be. Thirteen years is a long time. Get over it, your ever pragmatic side reprimands. But it was magic, your indulgent side, cajoles.

It was just another lover, another relationship.

Another life.

All you have to show for it is thirteen years of trying.

And a lifetime knowing you will never succeed.