Today, I Decide To Leave You

What love is this that renders me a slave,
not just in action but also in expression.
What love is this that judges me,
as true lovers ought not to be.

I love you, and that is all there is to that.
Must I proclaim it, must you believe it,
must I be a lover who swears fidelity?
Can I not just be left to the business of loving?

I do not grudge you your time,
your friends, your new lovers.
I do not grudge you your joys,
your passions, your dislikes.
Days spent in sufficient distraction,
nights in her tender disposition.
But I do grudge you your disdain,
your anger, your hatred,
your willingness to despise.

Me? I am stripped bare of all,
pretenses, no romantic notions,
no vile jealous streaks,
no, not even indifference.
I am left with emptiness.

Today I decide to leave you,
only you don't know it yet.
So I call to hear your familiar voice,
and we make funny talk,
like we always do.
You are so funny.
I am usually funny too,
but funnier than you.
Then, you tell me about your bad week,
and the terrible fight,
about another phone call.
And I am left to stumble on,
my farewell speech.

Today I decide to leave you,
only to find out,
that you had already left me.
You are so funny,
and i am funnier.