Sarcasm - Just Another Free Service That I Offer

I'm at that point where I know what I need to do, but the inertia of what I'm doing right now is making it tough. You either know what I'm talking about or you don't. I try to be open-minded about all genres of music (with varying degrees of success), and am endlessly sarcastic.

If you've NEVER read a book or can't understand how people can like them, you can stop reading right now.

And if you can explain to me the allure of romantic comedies, I'm all ears. Or eyes, since this is the net.

Oh yeah: cars. Cars are awesome. And computers. I pay way more attention to computer tech and play way more video games than I should, but it's just one of those things. Everybody gets older, but there's nothing that says you have to grow up.

I enjoy jokes. Clean jokes, dirty jokes, dead baby jokes, they're all great. I have no problem taking shots or receiving them (although I'm generally not as good at receiving). If I'm bad at something, I'll bitch and moan until I get good at it and then not say anything; this generally pisses people off for some reason I can't comprehend.

I'm not a very open person. It's not really that easy to get to know me. Once I do think of you as a friend, however, I'm that chick you call at 3:30AM to come bail you out because you've had one too many to drink and decided to throw somebody through a plate glass window (not that that's ever happened or anything).

Tucker Max and Maddox are ridiculous.

I'm beyond cynical and logical to a fault. I'll get into an argument over something petty just because I don't see the logic in what the other person is talking, even if it doesn't matter. It's a hang up, I guess.

I always find these types of things interesting, because you never know how you can come across. More importantly, nobody can really summarize themselves in a couple of paragraphs. Like real life, this is a constant work in progress.

I'M REALLY GOOD AT:

Making fun of people. If you leave yourself open, odds are pretty good that I'm gonna get you. If you're one of those hyper-sensitive people who can't stand it when people make fun of you, we probably shouldn't be hanging out anyway.

Like everybody you've ever met and/or talked to, I'm amazing at listening. On the other hand, I'm self-aware enough that I know what my advice is usually worth (not much) and try not to give it unless I feel like you actually want it.

Procrastinating, staying up late, and typing fast round out my extensive list of talents.

FAVOURITE BOOKS?

I enjoy authors like Michael Crichton and Dean Koontz; they've got interesting views on how people interact, technology, and cool stuff that I'm finding interesting these days. I like Stephen King, but I enjoy his short stories more than his novels, which give him too much opportunity to let him get carried away with himself. These days, I'm really into Lee Child, particularly his Jack Reacher novels. He appeals to that adolescent fantasy of swooping in, saving the day, getting the girl, and disappearing into the sunset. I guess he's pretty much a modern-day cowboy. In the end though, as long as it has words and pages, I'm probably going to give it a shot. Except for comic books, though. There's no continuity and that drives me nuts.

OOOOO LALA, FAVORITE FOOD?????

Now we're talking. Food? A lot of Haitian food, lasagna, pizza, Popeye's... tons more. Whatever. All kinds, I guess. I'm loving sushi right now too. Chipotle's is also getting inordinate amounts of money these days. Chinese food, particularly General Tso's chicken or sesame chicken. Good eating the night of, good eating the day after. Thai food is also going for me these days; especially Pad Thai. Oh, and lamb kabob.

If you like meat, you have to go to Texas de Brazil. It's sublime. Imma meat girl, not that kind of chick who actually count her calories. So women, don't hate me.

&&&&&&&&&&&

I'm also still trying to figure out what's so different between the Jews, Muslims, and Christians that make them incapable of getting along. The Zoroastrians are probably right anyway.

What's so great about reality TV?

I check out PostSecret a lot (http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ if you don't know) and wonder if seeing something I sent posted would make me feel better. I don't know the answer, and I think one day I'll do it and find out.

Why get high when there are other ways to achieve a smug sense of superiority?

Please don't fall in love with me. And no, I do not have a boyfriend. Last time I did try, my knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. D-R-A-M-A......

YOU SHOULD MESSAGE ME IF...

I guess you should message me if you think my profile's interesting. Or maybe you just want to practice making fun of me in a message before you do it to my face. That works, too.

One last thing.

For the record:No I won't go to hell! I've got a restraining order!

Yours truly,
Fyy, signing off sober as hell!