I've been having episodes of weird dreams, so I have a lot of time on my hands to plot bank robberies, the overthrow of my pack's alpha dog, invading Canada with trained badgers, world subjugation and domination, and a major chocolate heist. I vow to either crown myself Empress of The Milky Way Galaxy or to eat a Milkyway candy bar by the end of this decade.
I have a hard time rubbing my stomach and patting my head at the same time. If questioned, I will deny this.
I'm a total klutz but will misrepresent myself as graceful, then promptly trip. I also have delusions about my intelligence and sanity. Sheesh. Who doesn't?
I could regale you with tales of being in love then left alone, and of being a single individual, but many can tell those stories. They are all alike, and all different, and all a little sad.
I have known great love and friendship and it is one of the most wonderful feelings a human can experience.
I'm only here for the laughs, so entertain me with brilliant and/or funny journal entries.I need to be closer to a whole bunch of people scattered across the planet. Or build a wormhole big enough for a bike.
I'm acrophobic.
Oh, I'm pretty damn good at pulling fantastic objects out of the fourth dimension. For a small fee, you too can own a pirate ship or a small, green monkey with a club foot.No, I'm lying. But if there is someone out there capable of that, I'll gladly send you a marriage proposal asap.
I think maybe I'd be a Trekkie if I could remember things or felt just a little more inclined to argue the finer points of the progression of Klingon turtles or the nature of Guinan's long-term friendship with Picard.
I have a reoccurring dream where a man in a black tight shirt and cutoffs tries to destroy me. He is beautiful. He loves me. He has a dream where I try to destroy him. He is haunted by it.Beware death! He is a beautiful boy with no face. He will not fit in your calender!If only.
One last thing. See topic title. I can tell you your deep darkest secret....
by putting your profile or username through a special algorithm I accidentally developed when I typed french in the "Translate German to Japaneese" section of babelfish.I put your profile through the algorithm, and through a complex, subtle, and patented process it extracts your secrets from it. Then after I giggle to them, I post them here.Noone is safe from my all-powerful divination.
OhTheIr**: When you were eight, your father jokingly told you that corned beef is made out of retarded children. Secretly, you still think that just might be true.
kellyisa****: Until you had to read it aloud to your physics class in high school, and thus discover your mistake, you believed that the abbreviation for pounds (lbs.) was pronounced "lubbs".
wims***: You tell everyone that you have a Harvard law degree, but really you make all your money by surreptitiously flashing your fake namecard to rich looking men on the bus, and when they follow you off you mug them with jujitsu.
proba_pue***: You send so many postcards not because you want to keep in touch with people abroad, but because you love the taste of stamps.
And for my personal favorite.
rael****: No matter what anyone says, you know your Guitar Hero skills can be applied to playing an actual guitar, if only you work at it hard enough. You're gonna be famous someday. Last night as you finished Jordan with a perfect score, you felt tears streaming down your face. But you kept playing. Because that's what real rockers do.I was laughing so hard that I cried and my stomach hurts and my guts churn when I discovered this.
I should do an online business. Hmmm. People, I do accept PayPal. Gimme the username and profile of the person intended and I'll go perform my hocus-pocus and you will receive the results in 5-7 working days from the order date. (Sundays not included)&& if you know Sonnet 141 by William Shakespeare, you just scored yourself a free trial. =)
P.S. Azarael** has whispered to me what mischief occurs with you and the blacksmith behind the creamery, and while I can't say I fault your taste I thought I'd pass along a friendly warning to help keep you out of the aqueducts.
Whatever that means. Pffft.
Just for giggs.
Would it be a good idea to pass a law requiring people to take a course and pass a test before being allowed to have a child?
- Yes.
- No.
Come the hell on. This is what social services are for.
Wait for the financial or criminal issues to arise after the fact, two people in love with each other should never be denied the right to procreate.
That's crazy talk. Geez.
Thinking of you An,
Fyyyyyy. =))
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