Ain't No Easy Way

Your touch still sits on my face, my neck, my back, my stomach, my arms like an unbearable tingle. I try to smear it away as the tears start rolling down my face, but it's a lost cause.
You've been a part of me.
You've consumed me.
You’ve been one with me.

I try to think back to a time when you weren't in my life.
Before we got together, before we were even friends.
But my memory is hazy.
I didn't even realize how important to me you had gradually become.
And when I did realize, I thought it would be the end of the world, because I wasn't equally important to you.
Turns out I was.

But what happens now?
My life hovers on a knife-edge, it could go either way: butter-side up or butter-side down.
But that's the problem.
You make me either soar or plunge.
With you, I'm either rivalling the stars in their exaltation or competing with the molten lava in the core of the earth for its depth.
I keep telling myself that this can’t really be the way things end between is, that this is just us in…transit and limbo, but with each passing day, all that seems to be just wishful thinking.

The fact of the matter is and remains that I truly love you, am deeply attached to you, and unfortunately for myself, probably will be for a long, long time.